You had plans. You had goals. You had expectations.
You would breastfeed, right from the start. No formula for your baby. And it would come easily, you were sure.
You would give birth naturally and quickly. You read somewhere that some women even experience pleasure during labor and delivery. That would be you.
Your house would be clean. All natural wooden toys for this baby. All organic too. You would have this baby sleeping through the night in their own bed from day one.
Your hair would be done. You would lose the baby weight right away. Get back into that workout routine.
You would babywear, and look good doing it.
You would cloth diaper. From day one.
You would be the hip momma- the one with the newest and coolest gear and know-how.
Your baby would be so well cared for he would never cry.
She would be potty trained at just a few months.
You would not be that crazed looking hectic mom in the store. You know the one. She’s wearing yoga pants and her hair might actually have something living in it.
You would be different. You had expectations.
And then baby came. And everything changed.
Now you just want a hot shower. By yourself, with the door shut.
You want to eat a meal sitting down. Undisturbed by dirty diapers or grabbing hands.
You want the baby to just stop crying. For five minutes.
You want a conversation. With an adult. In which poop is not mentioned.
You want a shirt not covered in milk, spit up, baby poo and some weird mystery stain.
You want to sleep for more than two hours in a row.
You want to find a bra that doesn’t hurt.
Everything makes you cry. Even that Huggies commercial. Especially that Huggies commercial. You would like that to stop, thank you.
Suddenly, your goal is to become that momma in the store. The crazed looking one. In yoga pants, remember her? Somehow, she got to the store. You would like to do that too. Someday.
I just want to tell you: it’s OK. You will get there. Those goals you had? They will become reality. Maybe not as soon as you had hoped. Maybe not even till your baby hits that one year birthday. Wait, how did that happen? When did that happen? Maybe it will be approaching your baby’s second birthday. Or tenth. Parenthood is a journey, it starts with the positive pee stick. It lasts indefinitely. You won’t become the parent you wanted to be overnight. With a lot of work and dedication you can become that momma you wanted to be. Or something close enough to it.
So don’t give up on those pre-baby day dreams. They are possible. Or at least most of them. And those that aren’t, are probably not all that important any more. You do not become the momma you wanted to be overnight. It takes time, and practice. It might just take longer than pre-baby you planned on.
So hang in there new momma. And give yourself a break. You are doing a pretty good job, even if it’s not exactly like you envisioned while rubbing your baby bump.